The Best of Intentions

I always have good intentions to keep up with my blog...and then I don't. There's no reason other than laziness. November is coming though, so I'd better get into practice so that I remember to write each day!

I have good intentions to do a lot of things, but I don't get most of them accomplished. I'm not sure why. It's something that's been bothering me a lot lately. I have this habit of starting things and never completing them. I get bored. I lose interest. I get confused. I realize I don't have enough talent for something, or that it seemed better as just a thought. Most of all I seem to get overwhelmed and just shut down.

This is a habit that has followed me most of my teenage and adult life. Little things and big things alike.

I always want to make projects, but it takes me SO long, because I need them to look a certain way. I am a horrible crafter. I see things and I think, "Wow! That looks so easy to make!"...and then I try it and generally everything comes out looking like a 3 year old made it.

I have many unfinished scrapbooks in the basement and an unfinished one I've worked on and off on for over year online. What might take someone else 15 minutes to complete a layout online can take me 45 minutes because I need it to look JUST right. Then I get frustrated when it's not working and I give up.

Dieting. Don't even get me started there. If you looked up a picture of a yoyo dieter, you would find a picture of me. I get on a roll. It's fun. Ahhh. Healthier food is awesome. Except...I'm picky and I don't like a lot of healthy foods. I wish I did, but I just don't. So, I get sick of eating the same few things over. I get sick of not losing anything. Old habits creep back in and then next thing I know, I'm eating everything in site.

I am 33 and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Sometimes I think I've got an idea, but as soon as I start to research what it would take to do it, I freak out. I'll think, "Oh. Maybe I'll go to a community college." and then I remember how much I didn't enjoy sitting in classes. I remember that I'll have to take courses that I probably won't do well at...I'm looking at you MATH. Calculators exist for a reason. Just sayin'. I get overwhelmed with the thought of homework and projects.
Then I have to reign myself back in and remind myself that God will show me and reveal His plan when its time.

I want to blog more. I get ideas rolling in my mind and then I lose them. Or I get them jumbled up with other thoughts. By the time I sit down to write them I end up staring at the screen and drawing a blank. I know what you're thinking. I should write stuff down in a notebook for later. Yep. That would be the smart thing to do...but I'm lazy and tell myself I'll do it later. My brain just rolls its eyes at me because it knows I'm lying.

I think of activities I want to do with the boys. I write down and pin ideas on Pinterest. When it comes time to executing those ideas, most fall to the wayside. Partly because I just don't want to do it, and usually because I can see it becoming a disaster. It seems that when I actually plan something out and it doesn't work out the way I think it should I get discouraged.

I LOVE being an encouragement to others, by doing acts of kindness toward them. But, sometimes I do so much thinking and overthinking, that I don't get around to doing what I wanted to do, simply because my brain is overloaded and shuts down.

Anyone else experience this? No? Just me? I figured. :)

ps... I almost quit writing 3 times because my brain got tired...but hey! I finished!