I don't even know where to start without making this into a novel!
The past few weeks have been interesting to say the least. 2 weeks after my first hospital stay, I was admitted once again. Only this time it wasn't overnight. It was 3 nights. To make a very long story short, I was finally diagnosed with Partial Placenta Previa. I never thought I'd be talking about placenta so much in my life! Basically, they had thought that it had completely moved after it was checked around 25 weeks. It wasn't caught again when I was admitted the first time either. Thankfully the doctor that I saw on my second stay, decided that once again when they couldn't see the cause of anything doing a regular ultrasound, that we should try a transvaginal ultrasound. In between the two I was telling Jacob how frustrated I was, because this always happens to me! No one can ever tell me what's wrong even though there clearly IS something wrong. After they did the other ultrasound it was discovered that it hadn't moved like they thought. Finally. An actual reason!
The stay wasn't awful, but it wasn't great either. I had wonderful nurses again. Jacob would come up and visit me. My in-laws were amazing and each took a turn coming over to watch Daniel. Jacob did a great job taking care of Daniel in the evenings and all day Saturday. They even came up to see me and went on a Daddy/Son adventure. I was sick of the food. It was depressing every time I had to do continuous monitoring, but quickly gained the privilege of unhooking and re-hooking myself back up so I didn't need to call a nurse in every time I had to pee. James was always moving like crazy, but I was also having lots of sporadic contractions as well.
I had about 7 tubes of blood drawn. Another Rogham shot. An IV line. Plus 2 steroid shots to develop James' lungs in case we had to do an emergency delivery. It's a little scary signing consent papers for them to do an emergency c-section if needed. It was mostly precaution, but scary none the less. As is stands, if my placenta doesn't move I'll be having a c-section...something I don't want.
We also made the difficult decision to send Daniel to Iowa for an undetermined amount of time, because I was basically told to rest and do nothing when I got released. We just couldn't see how I would be able to care for him alone during the day, and my mom had already spent and week over here helping me after my first stay. She and Kendra came Sunday and left Monday.
I cried. A lot. I cried as I rocked him to sleep the night before. I cried recording a story for him to take along. I cried when he gave me a random hug. And I sobbed my eyes out as I watched them drive away. Then I came inside and prayed. And sobbed. And curled up in the fetal position with one of his blankets. The next few days were bizarre. It still is, but the relaxing without a crazy almost 3 year old has been amazing. We bought a web cam so we Skype 2 times a day. He CLEARLY misses us. (Please note my sarcasm.). Half the time he just runs away. It's bittersweet, because I want him to miss me, but I'm so so happy at how easily he adjusted to life at Mimi and Pa's house!
At my appointment last Thursday I had an ultrasound done and nothing had changed, but my OB encouraged me to start doing a little more to see how my body would handle it. I took it upon myself to take a long leisurely trip to Target, and it was glorious.
We decided over the weekend that my mom would bring Daniel home Friday (tomorrow!), and she's going to stay until Tuesday to see how I can handle it. Is it weird that I'm nervous? I'm excited to see him, but I know what a handful he is. Everyone keeps asking, "Are you sure you'll be able to handle it? Are you prepared to send him back with your mom?" Nope. Don't know if I can handle it. Especially between yesterday and today. I don't think I'm having real contractions, but, I sure am having Braxton Hicks...all the time. I went grocery shopping this morning and between hot flashes, heartburn and BH contractions I felt like death when I got home an hour later.
The "good news" is even if Daniel stays and my mom goes home, I have my next appointment next Friday. If I'm feeling like I can't do it, then we'll head to Iowa after that and stay awhile. Ideally, I want to be here with Jacob and around my doctor and hospital, but I've already talked with my doctor and insurance (and husband, obviously) and my doctor will send records over with me just in case.
It's amazing how one pregnancy can go so smoothly and another can be drastically different. I've made it to 31 weeks (tomorrow), and hope to get as close to 40 as I can. I figure I'll end up overdue. Although, my doctor has said the goal is to make it first to 34 weeks. At that point they will not stop labor. 37 weeks is more ideal. 40 would be excellent.
I won't like though. I wouldn't mind an October baby (mid to late October), but ONLY if he's healthy. So far though, everything has looked great with him. He's growing perfectly...just needs to cook a bit longer. So stay put, James Michael. Mommy still has stuff to get ready!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
Hospital Adventure
The past couple of weeks have been interesting.
First of all I can't believe that the summer has come to an unofficial end. School is back up and running, and Daniel and I are (sort of) getting back into our school year routine.
2 Fridays ago, I hit my biggest bump in the road with my pregnancy. I woke up bleeding. Not spotting, but bleeding. I somehow stayed calm. It was 7:30, so I called into work and then waited until 8 when my doctor's office opened to call and see what I should do. I was cramping some, but James was moving around like a mad man, so I knew that for the time being he was okay.
My doctor decided that I needed to head to Springfield and be checked at the hospital. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with Daniel. Thankfully, I was able to reach Jacob, and he was able to leave work and come home. I honestly wasn't ridiculously worried, so I said I'd just drive myself over so he didn't have to entertain Daniel in the hospital.
I arrived and got checked in. I of course had to ride in a wheelchair up to the maternity floor, where I was put in a triage room to be checked out. One blood draw, one urine sample, one ultrasound and consult and cervical check with the on call doctor, and everything looked mostly okay, but the doctor was still worried since I was still bleeding. Plus I was hooked to monitors and the cramping turned out to be sporadic contractions. In my head I'm thinking, "Okay, well everything seems good. I'll probably be out of here as soon as the blood tests come back. Maybe some bed rest." Instead the doctor looks at me and says, "We're keeping you overnight for observation." Um, say what!?
Next thing I know, I'm being wheeled to my room. I had a raging headache, and hadn't eaten anything but a cracker. It was just after noon, so I was hoping to at least get settled and eat. They hooked me back up to monitors...which is when I was told I was going to be on continuous monitoring the whole time. Yeah. My bladder is the size of a pea, so that was a blast having to have the nurses unhook me every other minute to go to the bathroom!
For some reason the doctor had accidentally written down that I could only have ice chips, so that's what I got to "eat." The nurse thought it was stupid, so she went to call the doctor to see if that was really right. I FINALLY got to eat lunch at 3:00! Thankfully you can order room service 24 hours a day and they have a giant menu. I chowed down a side salad, cheeseburger, fries and chocolate cake! The nurse was in the room when it came and when I lifted the lid off the tray she laughed and goes, "Oh yeah! You're pregnant!"
The food was great and helped my headache some, but I could tell I was having a bunch of smaller contractions. Nurse came back in and said they were going to hook me up to an IV to get more fluids in me and hopefully get the contractions to stop. At this point I was finally feeling grateful that they kept me.
Jacob came to see me a bit later and to bring me my overnight bag. His dad drove over to watch Daniel so he could come be with me for a bit, which was nice and I was very thankful for!
Once he left, I finally called my mom. We'd talked through Facebook and texting, but it was good to talk to her. My night nurse came in and unhooked me to go to the bathroom and then said she'd let me stay off the monitors for a bit. Hooray! I had about an hour and it was lovely.
Finally ordered supper at 8, and by 10:30 I turned off my light to try to sleep. Ugh. Longest night ever. First off, awake or asleep, James was always moving and jumping off the monitor, so they'd have to come in and readjust...which could take awhile because he'd bounce all over the place! My night nurse was so nice though and would try to leave me alone as much as she could. I managed about 4 hours of on and off sleep that night.
The rounds doctor came in at 7 and said I'd be having a higher level ultrasound and then they'd determine if I was going home or staying. STAYING?! I was a bit worried, but had the ultrasound done and everything looked great. I was 27 weeks 1 day and he was measuring around 2.5lbs! He was rocking and rolling like usual! The "tech" who I found out later was a specialist doctor said she saw no reason I couldn't go home! Woohoo! The bleeding had stopped (no actual explanation for it) and other than a random contraction those stopped too.
The wait to be released began just after 9. I had to wait for the on call doctor from my office to come in and talk to me, and then wait on the discharge paperwork. The doctor cleared me to leave, but limited everything that I was allowed to do. Then my nurse re-lectured me on everything. She made me more nervous than the doctor, but I listened because she sees women in labor every day and she was like, "I'd better not see you again before 37 weeks because you over did it when you shouldn't have!" (She was very nice, by the way!)
And so, finally around 12:30 I walked out of the hospital. I'm so thankful for all of my nurses. They were all so wonderful. I'm also thankful for Jacob for watching Daniel when I couldn't be there for him!
Still taking it easy, but the rest is for another post!
First of all I can't believe that the summer has come to an unofficial end. School is back up and running, and Daniel and I are (sort of) getting back into our school year routine.
2 Fridays ago, I hit my biggest bump in the road with my pregnancy. I woke up bleeding. Not spotting, but bleeding. I somehow stayed calm. It was 7:30, so I called into work and then waited until 8 when my doctor's office opened to call and see what I should do. I was cramping some, but James was moving around like a mad man, so I knew that for the time being he was okay.
My doctor decided that I needed to head to Springfield and be checked at the hospital. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with Daniel. Thankfully, I was able to reach Jacob, and he was able to leave work and come home. I honestly wasn't ridiculously worried, so I said I'd just drive myself over so he didn't have to entertain Daniel in the hospital.
I arrived and got checked in. I of course had to ride in a wheelchair up to the maternity floor, where I was put in a triage room to be checked out. One blood draw, one urine sample, one ultrasound and consult and cervical check with the on call doctor, and everything looked mostly okay, but the doctor was still worried since I was still bleeding. Plus I was hooked to monitors and the cramping turned out to be sporadic contractions. In my head I'm thinking, "Okay, well everything seems good. I'll probably be out of here as soon as the blood tests come back. Maybe some bed rest." Instead the doctor looks at me and says, "We're keeping you overnight for observation." Um, say what!?
Next thing I know, I'm being wheeled to my room. I had a raging headache, and hadn't eaten anything but a cracker. It was just after noon, so I was hoping to at least get settled and eat. They hooked me back up to monitors...which is when I was told I was going to be on continuous monitoring the whole time. Yeah. My bladder is the size of a pea, so that was a blast having to have the nurses unhook me every other minute to go to the bathroom!
For some reason the doctor had accidentally written down that I could only have ice chips, so that's what I got to "eat." The nurse thought it was stupid, so she went to call the doctor to see if that was really right. I FINALLY got to eat lunch at 3:00! Thankfully you can order room service 24 hours a day and they have a giant menu. I chowed down a side salad, cheeseburger, fries and chocolate cake! The nurse was in the room when it came and when I lifted the lid off the tray she laughed and goes, "Oh yeah! You're pregnant!"
The food was great and helped my headache some, but I could tell I was having a bunch of smaller contractions. Nurse came back in and said they were going to hook me up to an IV to get more fluids in me and hopefully get the contractions to stop. At this point I was finally feeling grateful that they kept me.
Jacob came to see me a bit later and to bring me my overnight bag. His dad drove over to watch Daniel so he could come be with me for a bit, which was nice and I was very thankful for!
Once he left, I finally called my mom. We'd talked through Facebook and texting, but it was good to talk to her. My night nurse came in and unhooked me to go to the bathroom and then said she'd let me stay off the monitors for a bit. Hooray! I had about an hour and it was lovely.
Finally ordered supper at 8, and by 10:30 I turned off my light to try to sleep. Ugh. Longest night ever. First off, awake or asleep, James was always moving and jumping off the monitor, so they'd have to come in and readjust...which could take awhile because he'd bounce all over the place! My night nurse was so nice though and would try to leave me alone as much as she could. I managed about 4 hours of on and off sleep that night.
The rounds doctor came in at 7 and said I'd be having a higher level ultrasound and then they'd determine if I was going home or staying. STAYING?! I was a bit worried, but had the ultrasound done and everything looked great. I was 27 weeks 1 day and he was measuring around 2.5lbs! He was rocking and rolling like usual! The "tech" who I found out later was a specialist doctor said she saw no reason I couldn't go home! Woohoo! The bleeding had stopped (no actual explanation for it) and other than a random contraction those stopped too.
The wait to be released began just after 9. I had to wait for the on call doctor from my office to come in and talk to me, and then wait on the discharge paperwork. The doctor cleared me to leave, but limited everything that I was allowed to do. Then my nurse re-lectured me on everything. She made me more nervous than the doctor, but I listened because she sees women in labor every day and she was like, "I'd better not see you again before 37 weeks because you over did it when you shouldn't have!" (She was very nice, by the way!)
And so, finally around 12:30 I walked out of the hospital. I'm so thankful for all of my nurses. They were all so wonderful. I'm also thankful for Jacob for watching Daniel when I couldn't be there for him!
Still taking it easy, but the rest is for another post!
Monday, August 11, 2014
Root Canal Woes
This past week has been a stressful one for me. I found out a couple of weeks ago that I needed a root canal, and was able to schedule one for last Tuesday. I think everyone who reads my blog or follows me on Facebook knows that I have anxiety. (For anyone who didn't, you can real all about it HERE). Dental anxiety is high up on my list of anxieties. Why? I don't know for sure, but I'm pretty sure it stemmed from the fact that I never had one cavity until I was 16 or 17 years old. Then out of nowhere I had 4 at one time. I don't remember much other than being scared, but what really set me off was that I wasn't numb enough either time and could feel pain. For some reason I was too scared to speak up for myself and just dealt with it because I wanted it over with. After that I avoided dentists at all costs. I realize how stupid that was now, but without insurance, and with my fear I just didn't go.
Anyway, I was feeling okay the week leading up to said root canal, but of course, the nerves hit the morning of. Especially once I got to the office and had to sit and wait. Everyone there was very nice. I was able to explain to the endodontist who was doing the root canal how scared I was. I'm proud that I'm able to speak up and talk about these things now. He went over the whole procedure with me and his assistant was so nice and she made me laugh and feel somewhat at ease. He made sure to get me good and numb. (It honest to goodness takes 3 shots of Novocain for me to actually go numb). It probably took 30 minutes from start to finish, and I think maybe halfway through my heart stopped hammering and I was able to relax just a bit.
I never know how I'll feel after the Novocain wears off though. Usually I'm in a lot of pain, but surprisingly I wasn't! Could this be? Totally successful and no pain? Score!
Yeah. Not so much. I was pretty sore the next few days, but decided that was pretty normal, especially since I couldn't take the ibuprofen they recommend, but could only take Tylenol.
Saturday morning I woke up in intense pain. So much so, that I sat in bed crying and couldn't will myself to even get up. I had my first anxiety attack since going on medicine for it last Fall. Of course the Endodontist's office was closed. I called my dentist's office and one of the dentists happened to be in. He talked to me and said he would prescribe me a painkiller and antibiotic. I told him I was pregnant, so he said I'd have to call my OB's office for a painkiller, but he'd call in the antibiotic. Called my OB's office, knowing I'd have to talk to a Tele-Nurse. They said they'd call back within the hour. I called back an hour and a half later and finally just got them to transfer me to a nurse. "Oh...I can't prescribe anything." GAH!!! Then she decided she could page an on call OB from my office. OB said hydrocodone, but I needed the dentist to call it in. Call the office back and everyone is gone. Cue more crying. Look up dentist in white pages, and get ahold of him. He gladly called it in for me. Yay! Relief is coming!
I was able to pick up my drugs and then go back home to let Jacob load up the van and then we hit the road for Villa Grove! I was able to enjoy my afternoon and evening, and we arrived not too long after Rachel and Micah. Supper was delicious, but somewhat painful. I think I had 4 or 5 times where my teeth knocked together and I got zinged with pain. We all watched the Lego Movie and because of that, I let Daniel stay up until 10! He was out like a light once he got settled down!
Yesterday morning I was feeling okay. We got ready for church and I knew it would be a long day since it was their minister's last day and there was a lunch and program afterward. We weren't sure how Daniel would do in the nursery because he never does well. Daniel and Pa walked to church and then I dropped him off. It only took 10 minutes before they came to get us! Jacob went first and we switched off later. Almost right before the service started though, I started to feel off. I could feel a headache coming on. Then the hot flashes started. I felt weird and somewhat dizzy too. I just kind of sat there praying that I would make it.
I was doing okay by lunch and it was SO good. I even managed to eat it without much pain. We kept Daniel in for half the program and he did such a good job. He got a few chuckles. When someone would finish speaking or singing a song he'd say, "Sing another song now!?" or "We're done now?" At one point I asked him if he was tired and he looked directly at me and said, "No. I'm tired of THIS." Haha! So, I took him out and played with him while praying my head wouldn't explode.
We went back to the house for a bit before heading home. I wasn't in a picture taking mood this weekend, but got a few pictures. Daniel REALLY loved spending time with Aunt Rachel and Uncle Micah!
Daniel fell asleep before we were out of town. Jacob and I talked all the way home, and I thought my head was getting better. It wasn't. You KNOW I don't feel good when I tell Jacob just to bring the suitcase in and I'll unpack it another day. I know it shocked him. I wanted to get Daniel ready for bed, but I ended up sobbing because he wasn't listening. Thankfully Jacob stepped in to get him ready. I was able to rock Daniel and then grabbed an ice pack for my head and went to bed at 8:30 after I found someone to work for me today. I had decided that the hydrocodone was making me sick and didn't take any after 11:00 yesterday morning.
I woke up today and called as soon as the endodontist office opened. I talked to a sweet receptionist, but she dashed my hopes. In my mind I WAS going in today no matter what. She told me, he usually won't see anyone for 2 weeks after. She went over a lot with me on the phone and let me know that what I'm feeling is still normal for some people. I started sobbing. On the phone. That poor woman. She told me to call Thursday and update her.
I hung up and anxiety attack #2 happened. It was worse than the first. I couldn't breath and was panicking. I knew Jacob was awake so I texted him and said, "I need you in here now." He came in and held me as I shook, gasped for air and cried. It took a good 10 minutes for me to calm down enough to explain what happened. He helped me through it and I ended up feeling better about it. At least my migraine was gone and James was kicking me.
I'm still feeling pain, but I'm trying to get through it. It actually isn't AS bad, but definitely still hurts. It's been quite the rough week, but thanks to the help of Jacob, I've made it so far! I'm very very thankful for him and all he's done for me!
Anyway, I was feeling okay the week leading up to said root canal, but of course, the nerves hit the morning of. Especially once I got to the office and had to sit and wait. Everyone there was very nice. I was able to explain to the endodontist who was doing the root canal how scared I was. I'm proud that I'm able to speak up and talk about these things now. He went over the whole procedure with me and his assistant was so nice and she made me laugh and feel somewhat at ease. He made sure to get me good and numb. (It honest to goodness takes 3 shots of Novocain for me to actually go numb). It probably took 30 minutes from start to finish, and I think maybe halfway through my heart stopped hammering and I was able to relax just a bit.
I never know how I'll feel after the Novocain wears off though. Usually I'm in a lot of pain, but surprisingly I wasn't! Could this be? Totally successful and no pain? Score!
Yeah. Not so much. I was pretty sore the next few days, but decided that was pretty normal, especially since I couldn't take the ibuprofen they recommend, but could only take Tylenol.
Saturday morning I woke up in intense pain. So much so, that I sat in bed crying and couldn't will myself to even get up. I had my first anxiety attack since going on medicine for it last Fall. Of course the Endodontist's office was closed. I called my dentist's office and one of the dentists happened to be in. He talked to me and said he would prescribe me a painkiller and antibiotic. I told him I was pregnant, so he said I'd have to call my OB's office for a painkiller, but he'd call in the antibiotic. Called my OB's office, knowing I'd have to talk to a Tele-Nurse. They said they'd call back within the hour. I called back an hour and a half later and finally just got them to transfer me to a nurse. "Oh...I can't prescribe anything." GAH!!! Then she decided she could page an on call OB from my office. OB said hydrocodone, but I needed the dentist to call it in. Call the office back and everyone is gone. Cue more crying. Look up dentist in white pages, and get ahold of him. He gladly called it in for me. Yay! Relief is coming!
I was able to pick up my drugs and then go back home to let Jacob load up the van and then we hit the road for Villa Grove! I was able to enjoy my afternoon and evening, and we arrived not too long after Rachel and Micah. Supper was delicious, but somewhat painful. I think I had 4 or 5 times where my teeth knocked together and I got zinged with pain. We all watched the Lego Movie and because of that, I let Daniel stay up until 10! He was out like a light once he got settled down!
Yesterday morning I was feeling okay. We got ready for church and I knew it would be a long day since it was their minister's last day and there was a lunch and program afterward. We weren't sure how Daniel would do in the nursery because he never does well. Daniel and Pa walked to church and then I dropped him off. It only took 10 minutes before they came to get us! Jacob went first and we switched off later. Almost right before the service started though, I started to feel off. I could feel a headache coming on. Then the hot flashes started. I felt weird and somewhat dizzy too. I just kind of sat there praying that I would make it.
I was doing okay by lunch and it was SO good. I even managed to eat it without much pain. We kept Daniel in for half the program and he did such a good job. He got a few chuckles. When someone would finish speaking or singing a song he'd say, "Sing another song now!?" or "We're done now?" At one point I asked him if he was tired and he looked directly at me and said, "No. I'm tired of THIS." Haha! So, I took him out and played with him while praying my head wouldn't explode.
We went back to the house for a bit before heading home. I wasn't in a picture taking mood this weekend, but got a few pictures. Daniel REALLY loved spending time with Aunt Rachel and Uncle Micah!
Daniel fell asleep before we were out of town. Jacob and I talked all the way home, and I thought my head was getting better. It wasn't. You KNOW I don't feel good when I tell Jacob just to bring the suitcase in and I'll unpack it another day. I know it shocked him. I wanted to get Daniel ready for bed, but I ended up sobbing because he wasn't listening. Thankfully Jacob stepped in to get him ready. I was able to rock Daniel and then grabbed an ice pack for my head and went to bed at 8:30 after I found someone to work for me today. I had decided that the hydrocodone was making me sick and didn't take any after 11:00 yesterday morning.
I woke up today and called as soon as the endodontist office opened. I talked to a sweet receptionist, but she dashed my hopes. In my mind I WAS going in today no matter what. She told me, he usually won't see anyone for 2 weeks after. She went over a lot with me on the phone and let me know that what I'm feeling is still normal for some people. I started sobbing. On the phone. That poor woman. She told me to call Thursday and update her.
I hung up and anxiety attack #2 happened. It was worse than the first. I couldn't breath and was panicking. I knew Jacob was awake so I texted him and said, "I need you in here now." He came in and held me as I shook, gasped for air and cried. It took a good 10 minutes for me to calm down enough to explain what happened. He helped me through it and I ended up feeling better about it. At least my migraine was gone and James was kicking me.
I'm still feeling pain, but I'm trying to get through it. It actually isn't AS bad, but definitely still hurts. It's been quite the rough week, but thanks to the help of Jacob, I've made it so far! I'm very very thankful for him and all he's done for me!
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
Time is Flying!
This Friday will mark my 25th week of pregnancy. I can't believe how fast it's flying by this time. Generally speaking, this has been an easy pregnancy. The first trimester came with exhaustion and some nausea. Now I've moved into the heartburn and acid reflux stage. This pregnancy is almost complete deja vu of my pregnancy with Daniel. Due at the same time, same symptoms, and this kiddo packs a powerful punch just like his big brother.
I'm excited, but nervous. Not the same nervous that I felt with Daniel. I'm not scared about labor or delivery at all. If I'm lucky it'll go just as smoothly. I'm more nervous about going from one child to two. I know it will be fine and although every once in a while I'm sad that Daniel won't be my little baby anymore (who am I kidding...he'll always be my baby!). I don't worry that I won't feel the same love for James as I do for Daniel, because I already love this little guy so much! I think most of my nerves stem from remembering the exhaustion. Daniel was sweet, but a high maintenance little dude. I HATED my own bed time because it was harder for me to get up after I had already fallen asleep, and Daniel woke up every couple of hours for months and months...and months. But, with him, if I was still exhausted I could easily fall asleep on the couch in the early morning and even through the day in the beginning. With a toddler, that will not be happening. I'll live. I know my emotions will get the best of me at times, but many mothers have survived and I will too! (Someone please remind me of this when I'm walking around like a zombie!)
At the same time, I look forward to those middle of the night snuggles and nursing sessions. Even through exhaustion and even frustration at times, I always made a point to cherish those moments with Daniel. I look forward to baby coos and smiles. I look forward to all of the "firsts". I'm excited, albeit slightly nervous to see how Daniel reacts to being a big brother!
I really do think he'll be a good big brother, but not sure what he'll think in the beginning. He talks about James all the time and even talks TO him sometimes too. He gave his brother his own special nickname that he came up with. He calls him Jamesy. It's pretty darn adorable.
I'll admit, this pregnancy is bittersweet for me. For years I imagined myself having three kids. Due to finances though, James will more than likely be our last child. I don't want to do a anything permanent, because maybe a few years down the road something could change, but I'm embracing each day and savoring every kick. Although, right now I'm also feeling at peace with having 2, so maybe this is what we are meant to have anyway.
How about this little cutie?!
I'm excited, but nervous. Not the same nervous that I felt with Daniel. I'm not scared about labor or delivery at all. If I'm lucky it'll go just as smoothly. I'm more nervous about going from one child to two. I know it will be fine and although every once in a while I'm sad that Daniel won't be my little baby anymore (who am I kidding...he'll always be my baby!). I don't worry that I won't feel the same love for James as I do for Daniel, because I already love this little guy so much! I think most of my nerves stem from remembering the exhaustion. Daniel was sweet, but a high maintenance little dude. I HATED my own bed time because it was harder for me to get up after I had already fallen asleep, and Daniel woke up every couple of hours for months and months...and months. But, with him, if I was still exhausted I could easily fall asleep on the couch in the early morning and even through the day in the beginning. With a toddler, that will not be happening. I'll live. I know my emotions will get the best of me at times, but many mothers have survived and I will too! (Someone please remind me of this when I'm walking around like a zombie!)
At the same time, I look forward to those middle of the night snuggles and nursing sessions. Even through exhaustion and even frustration at times, I always made a point to cherish those moments with Daniel. I look forward to baby coos and smiles. I look forward to all of the "firsts". I'm excited, albeit slightly nervous to see how Daniel reacts to being a big brother!
I really do think he'll be a good big brother, but not sure what he'll think in the beginning. He talks about James all the time and even talks TO him sometimes too. He gave his brother his own special nickname that he came up with. He calls him Jamesy. It's pretty darn adorable.
I'll admit, this pregnancy is bittersweet for me. For years I imagined myself having three kids. Due to finances though, James will more than likely be our last child. I don't want to do a anything permanent, because maybe a few years down the road something could change, but I'm embracing each day and savoring every kick. Although, right now I'm also feeling at peace with having 2, so maybe this is what we are meant to have anyway.
How about this little cutie?!
Friday, July 11, 2014
Frogs, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails
That's what little boys are made of!
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Today was the day. We woke up bright and early for my ultrasound in hopes of finally finding out the gender of the little baby who has been growing inside of me and taken up kick boxing as a hobby. I was nervous, but a good nervous. Would it be a little girl or a little boy? Would he or she be healthy? I had a hard time sitting still for our drive to Springfield, and about jumped out of the van (yep...we own a van now!) when we pulled up.
We got called back and got the party started. My doctor just moved to a new office, and the new rooms are awesome. They had a flat screen TV that we could watch everything on. I knew the baby was awake, because there had been an awful lot of kicking going on this morning. Sure enough, she put the wand on my stomach and that little munchkin was dancing around in there!
She took measurements and pointed out different things to us. Daniel gave a running commentary of things going on...and also wanted to run around and not cooperate. Thank goodness for graham crackers and Goldfish. About 10 minutes in, our ultrasound tech told Daniel, "I think you're having a brother." A few seconds pass and she says, "Oh yeah! That's a boy!" There was no denying it!
How did I feel when I learned it was another boy? Honestly? I felt a twinge of disappointment, as my dreams of shopping for sweet little dresses where swept away. I'd say the disappointment lasted all of 2 seconds though. Not even kidding. I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness to see my other little boy happily kicking away on that screen! Watching his precious heart beating made my own heart swell.
Everything checked out clear with the baby. Big sigh of relief. He weighs 14 oz. and I was measuring 6 days ahead. (Doesn't mean much right now. Due date is still staying the same!) Now all we needed to do was decide on our name. We basically decided last night...we just needed to pick which name we wanted as the first name and which as the middle. As we waited for my doctor to come in, we made our decision. James Michael.
We knew for a boy we wanted a biblical name again. Jacob had thought there was a James on his side of the family, but there's not...although I was reminded tonight that there was on my side. James is one of my favorite books of the Bible though, so I am very happy with our choice. Daniel? He was a little upset that we weren't going with his choice of Adam Wainwright.. :) (Cardinals pitcher) However, he is coming around and saying James now.
Jacob and Daniel went out in the waiting room while I waited on my own doctor. I just love her and we had a nice chat about everything. I will be getting another ultrasound at my next appointment to check on one thing. I have a lower lying placenta and it just needs to move a tiny bit by 40 weeks or whenever baby comes. Thankfully it almost always resolves itself, but they like to check. I don't mind having extra peeks at my kiddo though, so no complaints here!
2 boys. What have I gotten myself into? All I know is even though I'm sure there will be tons of rough housing, there will be so many fun times and I look forward to it. Jacob and I high fived because we won't have huge wedding expenses or over priced prom dresses to pay for. Tux rentals? Hey! No problemo. :)
Thankfully, as long as James is around the same size as Daniel was, we are totally set for clothes. That didn't stop me from buying a few things today though! Pretty sure he'll be stinking adorable in all of them!
All in all, a very happy day for this family!
Today was the day. We woke up bright and early for my ultrasound in hopes of finally finding out the gender of the little baby who has been growing inside of me and taken up kick boxing as a hobby. I was nervous, but a good nervous. Would it be a little girl or a little boy? Would he or she be healthy? I had a hard time sitting still for our drive to Springfield, and about jumped out of the van (yep...we own a van now!) when we pulled up.
We got called back and got the party started. My doctor just moved to a new office, and the new rooms are awesome. They had a flat screen TV that we could watch everything on. I knew the baby was awake, because there had been an awful lot of kicking going on this morning. Sure enough, she put the wand on my stomach and that little munchkin was dancing around in there!
She took measurements and pointed out different things to us. Daniel gave a running commentary of things going on...and also wanted to run around and not cooperate. Thank goodness for graham crackers and Goldfish. About 10 minutes in, our ultrasound tech told Daniel, "I think you're having a brother." A few seconds pass and she says, "Oh yeah! That's a boy!" There was no denying it!
How did I feel when I learned it was another boy? Honestly? I felt a twinge of disappointment, as my dreams of shopping for sweet little dresses where swept away. I'd say the disappointment lasted all of 2 seconds though. Not even kidding. I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness to see my other little boy happily kicking away on that screen! Watching his precious heart beating made my own heart swell.
Everything checked out clear with the baby. Big sigh of relief. He weighs 14 oz. and I was measuring 6 days ahead. (Doesn't mean much right now. Due date is still staying the same!) Now all we needed to do was decide on our name. We basically decided last night...we just needed to pick which name we wanted as the first name and which as the middle. As we waited for my doctor to come in, we made our decision. James Michael.
We knew for a boy we wanted a biblical name again. Jacob had thought there was a James on his side of the family, but there's not...although I was reminded tonight that there was on my side. James is one of my favorite books of the Bible though, so I am very happy with our choice. Daniel? He was a little upset that we weren't going with his choice of Adam Wainwright.. :) (Cardinals pitcher) However, he is coming around and saying James now.
Jacob and Daniel went out in the waiting room while I waited on my own doctor. I just love her and we had a nice chat about everything. I will be getting another ultrasound at my next appointment to check on one thing. I have a lower lying placenta and it just needs to move a tiny bit by 40 weeks or whenever baby comes. Thankfully it almost always resolves itself, but they like to check. I don't mind having extra peeks at my kiddo though, so no complaints here!
2 boys. What have I gotten myself into? All I know is even though I'm sure there will be tons of rough housing, there will be so many fun times and I look forward to it. Jacob and I high fived because we won't have huge wedding expenses or over priced prom dresses to pay for. Tux rentals? Hey! No problemo. :)
Thankfully, as long as James is around the same size as Daniel was, we are totally set for clothes. That didn't stop me from buying a few things today though! Pretty sure he'll be stinking adorable in all of them!
All in all, a very happy day for this family!
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