A Journey to Finding Myself

If you remember, my word this year is "Self". As in self-care, self-love, and self-worth. This past week was all about that for me. Taking a one week beach vacation with my sister was probably one of the best things I could have done for myself.

Confession. When I was in my early 20's and working in daycare, I totally judged the parents who went on vacations without their kids. I had no kids. I wanted kids more than anything and to me that just didn't make sense. How could these people leave their children to go on a week long trip?

As a young mom, I still couldn't fathom it. The first time I left Daniel all day to go to Chicago, he was 7 months old and I SOBBED the entire day before because I was sure he and I would never make it without each other. I don't think I could have taken this trip up until this past year. The timing wasn't right. I wasn't ready to leave the boys for that long. I could only dream of alone time.

Last summer, Kendra and I were supposed to go to California, but had to cancel, so, I struck out on a mini adventure on my own to Hannibal in August. It was my first taste of adventure and finding myself.

I mentioned to a good friend of mine on the 2nd day of this trip that I kind of felt like I should be missing my kids more than I did. Don't think that I don't love them, because I absolutely do. I just knew that some people were probably reading my posts and thinking, "I can't believe she left her kids!" I knew my friend would understand, and her response really resonated deeply with me. She told me that, "Mom" is just one of the hats that I wear. It doesn't define me. It isn't the only thing that I am. I am my own person. I am allowed to crave this time for myself and it's okay for me to take care of me! I knew the boys were being well taken care of. We have the technology to video chat. They were great and even well behaved for my parents.   (Of course they started fighting more when I got back!)

What I'm realizing is that each one of us moms (and dads too) are our own person. What works for one may not work for another. I know some people who would never even think about doing what I did. I know others who frequently travel without kids. Kids and travel together stress me out. It's not relaxing in the least for me. I'll stick to day trips with the boys until they're old enough to appreciate a bigger trip. I might get adventurous this summer and do an overnight somewhere with them. I'm actually thinking about taking them to Hannibal to do Mark Twain Cave. I think they would love it.

I am so thankful I took the opportunity to do this for ME! I got quality time with my sister. I got to relax on the beach. I read a book without interruptions. I stood in the ocean and watched the waves. I went to Disney and didn't have to worry about complaining...except me when I was sweaty and "moist" and when Kendra had to pee every 15 minutes. I went parasailing...something I've wanted to do since I was 12 years old. 

This is only the beginning. I started a new chapter in my life 10 months ago, and finding myself along the way. Here's to so many more adventures!