Living in Hope, Not in Fear

Well, we did it. We survived a year living in a fear stricken world. I'll just preface this by saying that these are my own thoughts and opinions. I know we all have different views, and it's been abundantly clear that we are a nation divided. 

I will say, at the beginning of all of this, I had reservations and fears. So much was unknown. I was very concerned about my parents flying to Tennessee at this time last year. I watched as fear took hold of people far and wide. I can't explain why, but besides the initial uncertainty, my anxiety never went crazy. I accepted that I could get Covid (and still could), but I know that God is in control. I can't worry about  if I may or may not get sick. I didn't let it hold me back from seeing my family and friends. But, I have been respectful of the family and friends who weren't or still aren't ready to be around others. We all have our own level of comfort.

For myself, I am so thankful for those who I have been able to see consistently. I'm a hugger. I'm an introvert who still needs human touch. I've had a tribe of people that I know I can go to for a hug when I need one. You all have kept me strong. 

I am also beyond thankful for my church family. Calvary closed down in March and switched to online, like everyone else. By later in June, the doors reopened. From the very start (although with limited seating) they held 3 services instead of 2. One of those services required masks. The others were made optional. To be able to walk into a building with other people and not have a mask on my face was exactly what my heart needed. Daniel was to be baptized on Easter, but it was delayed until August. Eventually we went back to 2 services and online. We have a small mask section, but the rest of sanctuary and church is optional. "Air hugs" are encouraged, but honestly a lot of us hug because nothing beats human touch. 

In November we had a 2 or 3 week shutdown due to  some church staff getting Covid. The thing I respected the most was that despite HAVING Covid, our pastor still preached messages. 

Now here we are in March and it's time to move on. Another thing I love about my church is that Covid isn't mentioned a lot. It may come up in a sermon very briefly, but there is no fear mongering. There is no dwelling on it. It's not all doom and gloom. No one is telling you to put on a mask. It's refreshing. There is hope every week! First service is always completely full.  I'm sad I can't go tomorrow, but I can watch online still.

I fell down a rabbit hole this week and ended up messaging local churches and researching. More churches have gone to masks optional than not. Those who are requiring them seem to have lower attendance and are far more traditional, whereas the churches more open are the ones with people flooding in the doors and that are more contemporary. 

I said last night that I see a light at the end of the tunnel. Those who want to be vaccinated can and will be. Those who don't, like myself should be just as free to do what we want. It's time to open America again. It's time to start living life again. I'm ready to go into stores without a mask. I'm ready to stalk Garth Brooks across the USA again. I'm ready for the "new normal" to change into a newer and better normal. 

Again, I know that we all have our own thoughts and some will disagree with my last statement. I can tell you now that even within my own family there's a divide on opinions. 3 want to be or are vaccinated and 2 of us are not. But we all still love each other.

Here's to a brighter 2021. We made it a year. Now let's press on and live life to the fullest.

Reflections

It's been a few months since I've written. Tomorrow we hit the 1 year mark of life changing as we knew it. Up until that point it was all fun and games. We all went to work/school on March 13th, and by that afternoon we were told that schools would be closed for the next 2 weeks. Those first couple of weeks were fine because we knew this was just to "slow the curve". We laughed at phrases such as "social distancing" and "mask up". We wondered how in the world people were going to be distanced? We scoffed at stores making aisles one way...and to be honest I still scoff at that one. Let's not forget that people turned into toilet paper hoarders and left the rest of us hoping we wouldn't have to resort to Kleenex. 

After the first week, the governor decided to shut the state down for the next 2 or 3 weeks, thus beginning the "stay at home order". How strange to hear that only one person in your family should go into a store. Masks were encouraged (and there was no way in heck I was donning one of those), restaurants closed down, small businesses had to close, and playgrounds were closed off with caution tape and snow fencing. 

I never expected this to be something that continued for months on end. My birthday was in "quarantine", and I missed my trip to California. My preschoolers didn't get a proper ending to their school year (although I was thankfully able to give them a graduation). Daniel didn't get to finish 2nd grade or say goodbye to his school and friends. Schools didn't reopen in August like we all thought would happen (because Covid would be gone by then). Mask wearing became the norm. To this day I still don't like it, but I will respect the signs on doors and wear them when required. 

While I can say this this past year has sucked in so many ways, I suppose some good came out of it. It showed me that I really do have strength. I was stuck. Feeling trapped. I was scared and uncertain. Not because of a fear of a virus, but because it forced us into being home. It helped me gather the courage to say, "I can't do this anymore. Something has to change." I took control of my life, and started over. It was scary, but thrilling. I don't know if I would have had the courage had I not been forced into a situation I had no control over.

I was dreading March 13th. Even last week, it felt like this impending doom. As I've sat and reflected this week though, I'm looking at tomorrow with hope. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have faith that things are going to change for the better. Slowly, but surely we are getting there.

Stay tuned tomorrow for my thoughts on moving forward and not living in fear!