Seeking Serenity

I was just going to write about my day again, but I've got something else on my mind and on my heart tonight. My anxiety has been really high lately, and I couldn't pinpoint why until tonight.

I have vocalized over and over my thoughts and feelings on Covid. I've seen others who believe the same, and others still who feel quite the opposite. I'm realizing that me venting my frustrations to the Facebook world isn't helping anything. I see posts that trigger me and I feel the need to comment. I see the news sites posting updates. We have a local Facebook page that tells the current stats each day. Social media is causing my anxiety. 

While I don't plan to quit using social media, I am realizing I need to just stop venting my feelings about that topic. I need to stop engaging at all when it comes to posts about the current state of the world. I need to block certain pages and people who frustrate me to the point that I can feel my chest tightening. I know the friends and family I can vent to and confide in. I do not need to try and push my own agenda on others. No one is going to change my views, so why would I think I can change someone else's view? All it's doing is making me stressed out, bitter and negative. That's not who I want to be.

I may slip, but I'm hoping this blog post will keep me accountable. My sister Erica was there for me a lot this year. We're miles apart. We have totally different views politically and on the world, and yet we love and respect each other so much. She has been a rock for me when I have fallen apart. She's sat and watched snap chats of me bawling my eyes out while telling her what's going on. Somehow she always has good advice. Sometimes I don't listen to it. She's always telling me that in AA they say The Serenity Prayer. We all know it. Sometimes when I see things over and over in life, they lose their meaning. I think she's right though. I need to accept what I cannot change, have the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

If I want to calm my anxiety, I have to stop letting negative things take up space in my mind. I cannot change what is happening around me, but I can change my attitude. (Unless you're one of those good friends...you'll probably still hear some frustrations, but I'll try to tame it down!)

I've been toying with the idea of starting a Facebook page. There are a few that I follow that post funny memes or positive quotes. I like the idea of having a positive place. Somewhere where people can feel refreshed and uplifted. What do you think? Should I?