Don't Follow In My Footsteps...I Run Into Walls

We all know that I am the most accident prone person on the planet. I decided to share my top 4 stupid injuries of 2018 (so far).

1. In January I was taking a class at the Y. I had decided to get myself back into shape after hitting my highest weight. My pastor's wife, Shelley teaches the class, and my friend Leslie convinced me to start going with her. I had gone a few times, and minus the part where I felt like I was dying a slow death and there were people twice my age that could move better than me, it was rather enjoyable. One day at the end of the month, Leslie couldn't go and I knew I needed to because I was going to Iowa that week. I went alone. Class went totally fine. I stopped to talk to Shelley and ask for prayer since the reason we were going to Iowa was for my grandma's funeral. Because of that I was one of the last people to leave the class (thank the LORD!). I almost always forgot there was a step up into the room. This time I biffed it, and I biffed it hard.

I remember my phone flying across the floor. I remember hearing my stainless steel cup crash. I remember the pain that shot through my ankle. In that moment I was sure I had broken it. By this point I have Shelley and 3 other people surrounding me. Part of me wanted to cry, and part of me wanted to die of embarrassment. I was finally able to move my ankle and someone brought me an ice pack. An xray showed it wasn't broken, so I walked limped away with a swollen foot and a bruised ego. Only I could miss one step and hurt myself so badly.

2. In March, I went on our church's ladies retreat. Our theme was all about finding balance. After a refreshing time, I came home, went to carry laundry downstairs, and promptly lost my balance, and fell face first down the last 3-4 stairs. I clearly did not find my balance.

3. Because I apparently like to invent knew ways to get injured, I really outdid myself on Mother's Day. I was on worship team that day and needed to be to practice at 7:30. I was doing my hair and my straightener fell on the floor. Instead of reaching down and picking it up right away, I stepped out of the bathroom to answer one of the boys. I forgot about the straightener. See where this is going? I proceeded to walk back into the bathroom and burned my toe. 390 degrees of heat seared through my toe, as I hobbled to the nearest bed and rocked myself back and forth. Jacob came in to see what was wrong, and I told him, "I Michael Scott-ed myself!"

4. Have you ever given yourself a black eye? I did! Last night. I was lying on James' bed because I needed to relax for a few minutes before we left for Life Group. I had my phone above my head, and honestly I think I was talking to one of the boys and was talking with my hands. Next thing I know, I dropped the phone on my eye.  Not a good feeling, my friends. 

I'm sure I've pulled more stunts this year, but these are the most memorable. I live to entertain people with my pain. Ha!