Remembering Grandma S.

This is a hard post, but one that I have to write. I'm sure I'll cry as I write, which is therapeutic. I did the same thing almost 6 years ago when my grandpa passed away. Only this time, it's my grandma. It's a little after noon and I've been sitting with this news now for about 5 hours. It came as a complete shock. We're talking about the stubborn woman who overcame a massive stroke. Last night she went to the hospital as precaution. She had a fever and a cough. Tested negative for influenza, but they did find pneumonia. Pneumonia.The woman was tough as nails. She was going to be fine. A few days in the hospital and she'd be back to playing Bingo and sassing the nurses at her assisted living home.

When my mom's number came up this morning, I knew. I knew that she didn't get home until 2:30 this morning. I knew she'd be sleeping if everything were okay. I knew she wouldn't call me if it was something minor. I knew Grandma was gone. Yet, hearing the words come out of my mom's mouth was still a shock. I walked out to the kitchen, sat on the floor and cried while we talked. I had to call my sisters, which wasn't easy. Even as I sit here now, we've all been messaging each other throughout the day. There are still some close relatives who don't know yet, so I can't even post this until later, but I needed to write. My emotions are coming and going. I'm okay. Then I'm crying. Then I'm calm or in a fog. I had a good sob in the shower. I've laughed too.

Right now she's with God. She's with my Grandpa again. She can walk. She can use her paralyzed arm again. And she's probably trying to figure out when the next Bingo game is being held.

Memories with Grandma S. (in no particular order.)

1. Grandma LOVED to rearrange her living room. Like, seriously. Every time I was there she had either moved the whole living room set around, or she would move it while I was there. Same went for the bedrooms.

2. I loved to spend the night at their house, but especially on Wednesday nights in the summers because Grandma was an avid garage-saler and the big garage sale day in Cedar Rapids was Thursday. She'd have the paper all spread out and circled all the ones to hit up. Then grandpa would drive us around for what felt like hours and as we searched for treasure. My favorite thing she bought me was Twinkie Soap. Ha!

3. My favorite book at their house was "The Monster at the End of This Book" and she'd read it to me every time I was there.

4. I had 3 favorite games to play with her at their house and I always played them in a certain order. Tom and Jerry, Winnie the Pooh and then Candy Land. I always cheated at Winnie the Pooh, but she never called me on it. I thought I was being sneaky, but as I grew up I realized just how obvious I was!

5. Grandma is the reason I am terrified of big dolls or dolls that talk. She had a WIDE selection of just about every horror movie ever on cable. She'd tape them and then catalog all of her VHS tapes and I was allowed to watch whatever I wanted. Which is why I picked a movie called "Child's Play" when I was 5 years old. Who let's their grandchild watch a movie about a killer doll? My grandma, that's who! I also watched Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street and Gremlins (which was my favorite).

6. All food was allowed at Grandma and Grandpa's house. The more junk food they could shove in me the better. (I realize now that as awesome as I thought that was back then, it contributed to my years of being a binge eater). But, if you wanted a bowl of ice cream, you didn't get one scoop. You got heaping PILES of ice cream. She always bought ice cream and then stored it in Rubbermaid containers. Not sure why. Probably to prevent freezer burn. Regardless, one time she served me ice cream with plastic chunks because the container broke and she didn't realize it.

7. She also tried to kill me once by accidentally putting cayenne pepper on the deviled eggs she made me instead of paprika and blew up the macaroni on Christmas Day.

8. Other favorite foods that were ALWAYS in stock were: spaghetti oh's, chicken noodle soup, Reese's PB cups, Little Debbie cupcakes (Devil Squares to be exact...and if you don't eat those things without freezing them, you're not doing it right), Cap'n Crunch and Cheetos.

9. Grandma loved to watch the Chicago Bulls with Grandpa and Bing Bang Boom (wrestling). Whenever I spent the night I'd watch with them.

10. I always watched game shows with grandma. Supermarket Sweep, Shop til You Drop, Press Your Luck (or Whammy! as she called it) and of course Wheel of Fortune.

11. When I was little and Grandpa still worked at night, I'd sit up with grandma and watch Unsolved Mysteries with her. Robert Stack's voice still creeps me out, and I was really scared of aliens there for awhile!

12. I'll miss the ways she said things. "I need to get the clothes in the warsh!" "I'm mopping the floor in the keenchin".

13. Oh grandma in the kitchen. She loved to bake. She made huge batches of monster cookies in a giant turkey roasting pan. And she'd bang pots and pans around in the kitchen so much that it drove grandpa crazy. Sounds like that always remind me of her.

14. Halloween. Grandma always had a bag of candy waiting for us. Reese's, KitKats and Carefree Bubble Gum. She'd put them all in a Ziplock bag and we never had the heart to tell her that the gum flavor always seeped into the candy and made it taste gross. It also didn't stop us from still eating it.

15. I'll miss the way she could never get our names right on the first try. Er--, Ken---,Rachel!

16. She was like the spy of the neighborhood and had nicknames for people like, "Oogie, Dingbat and Loverboy.

17. After she had her stroke and was at West Ridge we went to see her. She wasn't talking well yet and pretty quiet. Mom was "bossing" her around and I whispered to grandma to slap mom the next time she got bossy. The smile that spread over her face was priceless.

18. She was a favorite resident at RidgeView. She had the nickname, "The General" and she sassed and joked with all of the staff.

19. I will always remember her laugh. It was more of a cackle and the greatest thing ever when she really got going.

20. The people of Cedar Rapids are now safe because that women ran over more people with shopping carts and her wheelchair than you could probably count.

21. I'll always remember digging through park trash cans with her because she took back all of the old pop cans to get her nickles!

22. Going to Bever Park together. We'd always go to the monkey house first and then the rest of the zoo. But, she ALWAYS let me go back to the monkey house again before we left. Grandpa would go sit in the car to wait and Grandma would take me back in to see them.

23. I'll miss her random outfits. Bright pants and shorts, bright flowery shirt. No bra. She was living the life, ya'll.

24. She loved her cat Sugar more than life.

25. One time Erica and I stole the wishbone from the turkey and weren't going to let Kendra try. Grandma chased us down the hallway about pounded on the bathroom door demanding that we be nice to Kendra.

Grandma S. wasn't your typical lovey dovey grandma that would dote all over you, but she was the best Grandma to me. She loved us and I know that she had fun spending time with us as kids. I'll forever cherish all of the memories I have with her and thank God for all of the years I got with her.

I love you and will miss you, Grandma. See you again one day!