Life With 2 Boys

What a crazy busy life! Since the last time I wrote Daniel celebrated his 3rd birthday! He's 3! We were able to celebrate at our house with both sets of grandparents and Aunt Nens.  He wanted a Mickey cake so we had a whole Mickey theme. I think he enjoyed everything about it!



I can't believe that tomorrow James will be 8 weeks old! He's really starting to change and grow. I noticed the other day that his cheeks are starting to fill out. He is starting to smile, but we only see them a couple of times a day so far. He laughed in his sleep yesterday while I was holding him. I pretty much melted, because it was the cutest thing ever!

He isn't the happiest baby all the time, but neither was Daniel. We think he might have reflux though, so I am hoping his doctor will put him on Zantac to help him. He spits up constantly. He cries in pain until he does. Even 2 hours after he eats he'll still be spitting up...and by that point it's curdled. Ew! Poor little guy. I know first hand while acid reflux feels like. Not to mention he's super gassy and screams in pain from that too. Everyone has well meaning advice, but really, every baby is different and believe me, I've tried many of the things people have suggested and claim are sure fire ways to help. Hopefully he can find some relief soon though.

When he is happy though, he is just the sweetest. He'll coo and just stare and look all over the place trying to take it all in. He's very strong! He can lift his head way off our chests and look around. He about rolled himself over last night on the floor. The other day he scooted himself almost a foot! Crazy little guy!

We think he might have blue eyes! I'm still on the fence though. By this point Daniel's were totally brown. James' are very dark blue, but every once in awhile I almost feel like I can see flecks of brown. I read that eyes don't always change permanently until between 6-9 months, so I guess we'll just wait and see.



Daniel just adores his "baby brudder". He talks in a high pitched voice to mimic baby talk. He gives hugs and kisses. When we're out he'll tell people about James and make sure they know that he's his brother. He can be a little rough when hugging, but we watch closely and it barely phases James! I think they're going to be great little buddies (and probably little troublemakers too)!



I LOVE being a mommy to 2 little boys! I feel like going from one to two kids has been much easier than I anticipated. It's no walk in the park by any means, but I just feel so much more laid back this time. Partly because I've done this before and partly because I take medicine for my anxiety this time. I can't even tell you how much of a relief it is not to feel nervous and anxious 24/7. With Daniel I was worried about every single thing. And while I still worry about both of my boys, it a "normal" worry.

I was never afraid like some moms that I wouldn't love him as much as my first born. I've loved James since the moment I knew I was pregnant. It is truly amazing how much love I feel for each of them.

I've always wanted 3 kids, but financially it's just not in the cards. I feel at peace though. For the time anyway, I feel like our family is complete. I'm in no way ready to make any permanent choices, but unless God sees fit to give us a surprise no more babies. My body needs a good long rest anyway. It was a rough pregnancy. I remember after I had Daniel I actually felt a little sad from time to time. I was so happy to have him here, but I missed all those kicks and hiccups. While I enjoyed them with James too, I don't miss being pregnant at all this time around!

I love our little family, and I feel like we're getting into a fairly good rhythm. It's been so nice having Jacob home on Christmas break to help with the boys. We just celebrated our first Christmas as a family of 4. Christmas has become so much fun to celebrate again. I loved watching Daniel open all of his presents and he even got to help open James' too.







Well, this is as good of place as any to wrap this post up. It sounds like both of my boys are in need of us!

James' Birth Story!

I've been wanting to sit down and type this out before all of my memories start to fade. I wrote Daniel's story after he was born as well.

I'll start with the day before. November 2nd. Nothing super out of the usual, but I wasn't feeling the greatest. Daniel had a cold and by afternoon I could feel my throat drying out. Thank goodness I still had 2 weeks to get rid of it before James made his appearance. I did have 2 rather large contractions that day. They were hours apart and nothing seemed to come from them, but boy did they hurt! I also texted Ashley that morning to tell her that with all of the pressure of James' head pressing on me, I felt like he might just fall out at any point. She got all excited and told me he was coming soon. I told her, no way. He'd be staying put until the 17th.

Monday, November 3rd, I woke up around 4:00 am for one of my usual middle of the night bathroom trips. I laid back down in bed, and a few minutes later I knew something was wrong. I was kind of hoping my water had broken, but instead I was bleeding pretty heavily once again.

I managed to stay calm. I went and woke Jacob up and then called Brenda to ask her to start heading over from Villa Grove. Jacob went down and got the suitcase and I started packing while he showered. I couldn't find the camera and Jacob realized he had left it at school over the weekend. I decided the point and shoot would do, but in his sleepy state he insisted he drive to the school and get it! We had time before Brenda would get there anyway, so he took off and I took a shower.

I think we were out the door for the hospital around 6:00. I called my mom to tell her that James would probably be arriving that day.

Jacob dropped me at the doors while he went to park so I could get checked in. We headed up to triage, where I was put in the same room I had been placed in the previous 2 visits. I assumed the process would be slow. My bleeding had slowed some, so I figured we'd be sitting in triage for at least 2 or 3 hours. At 6:55 a resident (?) said she wanted to get a doctor's opinion before they met at 7. My own OB was out of town at a conference, but her associate was there. I had met him the 2nd time I was in for bleeding as well, and really liked him. The decision was made that I would indeed be having a c-section that morning.

I had no idea how quickly everything was going to move from there. I was getting IV sites placed. A catheter was put in. (And they lied and said it wouldn't hurt. HA!)  People were in and out. I talked with the doctor who explained everything that would happen. I talked with the anesthesiologist. The next thing I knew they were handing Jacob all the garb to change into, and I was being wheeled down the hall to the OR.

Everyone in there was so nice. I was nervous, but I didn't have time to panic. My spinal block was up next. I was nervous for that. Not the placement so much as worrying that it wouldn't take since my body doesn't like the cooperate when it comes to being numbed. I had expressed my concern over that and my scoliosis. The anesthesiologist talked me through everything though, and next thing I knew my toes were tingling. Soon I couldn't feel my feet and the numbness kept spreading. I thought for sure I could still feel my stomach, but they rubbed something icy cold all over me and I didn't feel a thing. Such and odd feeling. The drape went up so I couldn't see what was going on. Jacob was brought into the OR and the procedure was about to begin.

 

Jacob was working to send off a quick text to our mom's to let them know James was on his way, but the next thing he knew that doctor was saying, "Dad! Get the camera ready. He's coming!" They had started cutting me open at 7:58 and James was born at 8:02 am. The entire thing was surreal. There was so much tugging and pressure as they pulled him out. I heard his sweet crying seconds later. I smiled. I cried. I got a quick peek before they whisked him across the room to clean him up and check him out. Jacob followed to get pictures.



I was laying there thinking, "Um. I just had a baby. WHAT!?" I was also thinking, "Wow. This wasn't so bad." Although, I just wanted to hold my baby.




They started sewing me back up and had told me it would take anywhere from 30-45 minutes. That part was not so much fun. I think I thought I was more with it than I was. I remember everything, I think, but I remember just wanting to be out of there. So much tugging and pressure. I got so nauseous and light headed. They were pumping Zofran into my IV and apparently my blood pressure was dropping as well. I didn't find out until the next morning how much blood I had lost. I was pretty close to needing a transfusion. I remember a lady laying one of those kidney shaped metal bowls by my head, because I kept saying how sick I felt. I knew I wasn't going to actually get sick, but now I know why they don't want you to eat beforehand! It also didn't help that my cold was in full force at this point too.

After what seemed like forever, they brought James back over and placed him on my chest so we could have some skin to skin time. He was perfect. I couldn't stop myself from crying again. Here he was. This little boy who had already been through quite the journey with me was right here wrapped in my arms. In that moment all was perfect.





Not long after that I was taken to recovery. They brought down a NICU nurse to check him out because he had fluid in his lungs that just didn't seem to be clearing up. A little after 9 they took him up to the NICU. I was devastated and did a little crying. They assured me he would be fine and that he'd probably be well enough to join me soon.

All was kind of a blur for awhile after that. I was eventually taken to my actual room. I remember wanting food so bad, and finally got the all clear to order, except there was some mix up and it took 4 tries before I could order because it kept showing I was not allowed to eat! If you know me, you know I get a BIT irrational when hungry. I think I had my whole meal inhaled within 5 minutes!

I called up to the NICU to see if Jacob could go up and visit. He came back down awhile later with an update and pictures. Daniel was placed on a CPAP machine to help him breath a little better. I loved seeing the pictures, but oh how I wanted that baby in my arms.



That alone was my motivation to get up and moving when the block finally wore off. I think around 5:30 I was able to get into a wheelchair and go see my sweet boy. We wore masks since we both had colds.





At that point we couldn't hold him. It sucked, but it felt good to just touch him.

Jacob went home for the night and I think around 9:30 I went back up to see him. At first I wasn't going to get to hold him, so I sat there holding his hand for a half an hour. The nurse came over and asked if I'd like to try and hold him, as long as I was okay putting him back if his oxygen started to drop. Instead he did perfect. I got to hold him in my arms for another half an hour before heading back down to try and get some sleep. I think I kissed that boy a hundred times before I could bring myself to leave him though.

All in all, it was a very eventful birth day for James Michael. He came into the world 2 weeks early, weighing 7lbs 8oz and was 20.5 inches long. He is a perfect fit into our family!

Happy Halloween!

Guess I'll back up a few days to Halloween. I was really looking forward to taking Daniel out for Trunk or Treat again this year. Mostly because of this:





Yes my friends. Our kid went as a door. He came up with it all by himself a month or two ago when I started talking to him about Halloween. I like to prep him in advance because he's never sure of new things. I explained that he could be anything he wanted to be. I gave him examples of a cowboy, Buzz Lightyear etc. He sat there for almost a whole minute and then declared, "I will be a door!" Never once did he change from that. Thankfully, Mimi T is creative and she made this door for him. He wanted it to have red. She did our address and Welcome. Well, he decided that no door is complete without having your first name on it too.

Jacob asked me if I would bring Daniel to school on Halloween. We went to the K-2 elementary and the middle school. Spent a total of 4 hours at school and had so much fun. He got to go from class to class at the elementary school and show off his costume. Some of the teachers even gave him treats! He was so polite and would say "Thank you!" to everyone. My favorite though was a teacher who gave him a few pieces of loose candy corn. He took it, walked back to the bag and was going to put it back because, "I do not like these." Then I stupidly ate them. Three pieces and I paid dearly. Killer heartburn.

Daniel did a good job through the 3 classes that Jacob needed to teach. He would randomly get up sometimes and go up by Jacob, or he'd just go start playing the piano. LOL!



After that we went to the middle school and hung out in the office for awhile, where Daniel collected even more treats and convinced Kathy to let him watch "Lightening McQueen" on YouTube while he munched on Cheetos.



We stopped in the teachers lounge and saw some of the other teachers and Daniel showed off his costume and impressed them with knowing his address and my phone number.

Next was class. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I have no idea how anyone could like teaching middle school kids. Haha! I'm glad they do though. My husband loves it. He has over 80 kids in choir...in one class period!!

We finally headed home to rest before Aunt Ashley and Charleigh came over to hang out until Trunk or Treat. By that point, she and I were dreading going out. It was windy and bitterly cold. Poor Ashley forgot her coat. Thankfully I had one she could borrow...because I tried it on earlier that day and couldn't zip it up. Haha!

We got there really early, which sucked in the moment, but totally paid off in the end. We were almost 1st in line and I think it literally took us 10 minutes to get around to each trunk because there was no congestion!

The get warm dance!



Love this girl and so happy to have her in my life!



Jacob and Daniel photobombing.



Candy collecting.



We kept our tradition of getting Wendy's afterward. Ashley and Charleigh joined us too.

All in all, a great Halloween!

National Blog Month

Here we are in November again! I can 100% guarantee that I won't be blogging every day this month. I'll make an effort though up until James comes!

Speaking of the little guy, my C-Section is officially set for Monday, November 17th! After my ultrasound the other day, they weren't even able to see all of my placenta because James' head was so low and he wouldn't move. What they could see though showed that it hasn't moved enough still.
Unfortunately, by 37 weeks chances of it moving become far less. It's still possible, but she wanted to at least get the c-section date set at the hospital. If by some miracle it does move, I'll still be able to get induced that day as long as I'm at least 2cm dilated. I'm well on my way to that though.
My surgery is scheduled for 7:30am...which means we have to be at the hospital at 5:30am! Looks like we'll be leaving by around 4:45. Eek!

I'm coming to terms with it, but I think I'll always kind of feel that sadness too. There's a group I'm in online with a small group of moms, and they really helped to ease some of my fears the other day when I was feeling kind of overwhelmed and panicked. Of course, I'm still nervous but at least I know a little more of what to expect and I'll have a list of questions to go over with my doctor at my appointment this coming week.

For a long time I prayed that God would make the placenta move. I finally decided I was praying wrong. Now I just pray that He has me deliver whichever way will keep James and I the safest. Jacob is going to take a bunch of time off work since he has a ton of days stored up. Plus I know my in-laws and my family will help out however they can too.

I still don't feel like reality has fully sunk in yet. In about just over 16 days now, I'll be holding him in my arms. I'm excited, but I think Daniel keeps me grounded too. Hopefully I don't panic before he's born. I remember sobbing a few days before Daniel came because the reality finally hit, that our lives would never be the same again. Totally silly, because I was SO excited to become a Mommy, but a kiddo is a big change!

This last week I was able to wash more, and set the swing, bouncy seat and bassinet back up. I also got the car seat base installed in the van. All the big things are ready. This next week will be more cleaning and wrapping birthday presents for Daniel! If I'm really motivated I'll start wrapping his Christmas gifts too. I tried to get as much done for him as possible since he's kind of the big priority for Christmas. I have a couple of things for James, just like I did for Daniel, but he'll only be about 5 weeks old, so I'm pretty sure he won't care. :)

I'm just thankful that I made it to November. When I ended up in the hospital in August it was a little scary thinking how far away November was. Now it's here, and as long as there are no other complications or I don't go into labor early, I'm feeling pretty good about making it to the 17th!

A Letter To My Newest Son

Dear James,

In about 3 weeks we will welcome you into our family! I can't tell you how excited I am to meet you, and hold you in my arms. I wonder each day who you will look like? I think you'll look just like your big brother. I also wonder what your personality will be like? You've been a spunky little guy since I first felt you kick. I imagine you may have that same spunk when you arrive. Who knows though? You might be a calm and laid back little guy once you're here.

I found out that I was pregnant with you when I was only about 3.5 weeks along. I just had a feeling, and I was right! It's always amazing when I think about it, because God picked you just for us. If I would've gotten pregnant any other month, you wouldn't be YOU!

We kept the pregnancy a secret from most people until I had my first ultrasound. Family and close friends knew, but I wanted to be sure that all was okay before sharing with the world. Your Daddy and I sat anxiously in the waiting room and were finally called back. As soon as you showed up on the monitor, I instantly saw a little flicker. Your heartbeat! Then we got to hear it, and it was music to my ears. You were measuring just right and my due date was set for November 21st (your brother's due date was the same date 3 years earlier!).

Everything went along really well for quite awhile. We had fun guessing if you were a boy or a girl. Your daddy thought girl, and I thought boy. Daniel would flip flop between the two. We already had a name picked for a little girl. If you had been a she, you would have been Madison Lynn. It took us longer to pick a boy name, but Daniel wanted to name you Adam Wainwright (a pitcher for the Cardinals)! We finally narrowed it down to James Michael or Michael James.

On July 11th, we finally got to find out if you were a boy or girl. Daniel came along too. As the ultrasound tech started checking, she told Daniel, "I think you're getting a brother!" She confirmed that a few minutes later. Another little boy. My first thought was, "Oh boy! This momma is in trouble!" Daddy and I were both excited, and as we waited to see the doctor we decided for sure on your name. James Michael Elam.

About this time, you really started kicking a lot too. I loved feeling those first taps because then I always knew you were doing okay.

I also started getting BAD heartburn and acid reflux, just like I had with Daniel. I decided right then and there that you will have a full head of hair when you're born.

Then came the 22nd of August. You decided you'd had enough of being good and decided to shake things up a bit. I had a bit of a scare and ended up staying overnight in the hospital. It wasn't very fun, but it was worth it to keep you safe. It was way too soon for you to arrive.

Two weeks later, you gave me yet another scare which landed you and I in the hospital for 3 days.  (By the way...you owe your Mommy a trip to see Garth Brooks someday! :)) Thankfully, you stayed put, although I had to get steroid shots to help your lungs develop quickly, just in case.

My doctor decided if we could just make it to 34 weeks, we'd be okay to have you if needed. Lots and lots of people prayed for us, and I'm happy to say that as I sit here typing you this letter, I am 36 weeks and 2 days pregnant with you!

While no other big problems have arisen since our September hospital stay, I'm still having complications, which means I've had to get many many ultrasounds. It's always nice to see you though! I'm hoping to avoid having a c-section with you, but in the end it doesn't matter as long as I have a healthy little bundle of joy to hold.

As of right now though, I think you're going to be born on November 17th. That might change, especially if you have a mind of your own! That's 22 days from now!

I pray for you every single day, and we're very excited to see you. Your big brother is so excited too! I don't know how he'll feel at first, but give him time, and I'm sure you'll be the best of friends!

I love you, my sweet little boy. I always have and I always will.

Love,
Mommy