52 Weeks of Gratitude: Why Start?

I saw this challenge on Pinterest awhile back, and saved the idea. I figured it would make a great "New Year's Resolution", to blog every week of the year. I keep coming back to it though, and let's face it. I never follow through with resolutions anyway, so why not be a rebel and start in the middle of October?


I want to start this challenge because we live in a very negative world. We see the bad in everything. Even when I try to be positive, I have my moments every day where I complain, whine and get mad. I sometimes forget to look for the good, especially on a bad day. Yet there are so many things that I take for granted, or I miss out on because I'm focusing on the negative, or too focused on myself to look around and see the good.

I want to be reminded to stop and think about all of the things I'm thankful for.

When The Pain Is Too Great

On Saturday, while the boys, my mom and I were in Springfield I felt what I refer to as "an attack" coming on. I hate it because I know it's coming and there's no way to stop it. Generally they last anywhere from a few hours to a full 24 hours. This summer I had one last 2 days. I carried on though. I was hurting, and after we had lunch, I decided it was time to just go home for the rest of the day because all I wanted to do was curl up on the couch.

Mom went home on Sunday morning and the boys and I stayed home from church. Not because of my attack, (which I was still having), but because the allergies I had, had turned into a full blown cold after my garage sale on Friday. It rained all morning and I ended up with a nasty cough. I didn't want to be that person sitting in church hacking up a lung and blowing my nose.

Monday, Jacob was gone all day. Well, I mean, duh. But he was gone all day Sunday as well at a vocal festival. I took Daniel to preschool and then relaxed with James. I texted Kendra as some point to let her know I was still dying from the attack that started on Saturday. She gets it. She deals with a lot of stomach issues as well.

Tuesday, I woke up and pain just tore through my whole abdomen. Because of the shock from the pain I took a deep breath. Cue an even more intense pain. I texted Jacob and told him I was probably going to go to Urgent Care when he got home. This was at 7:30 and he wouldn't be home until 5.  He called later in the morning and told me I really needed to go get checked sooner, but I didn't have anyone to watch the boys and I really didn't want to drag them along.  I knew Jacob felt helpless, but he needed to be at school. I was emotional and started crying. After some thinking and Googling and asking around I concluded Urgent Care couldn't help me and that I would have to go to the ER. (Cue panic over the RIDICULOUSLY high copay I have to shell out)

I took a shower, and then started crying again because the pain was not letting up. All I kept thinking is, "I'm 32, but I want my Mom!" I texted Jacob again, and he called back a bit later and told me that his mom was on her way. I have such a hard time asking anyone for help...except for my mom (who was 4.5 hours away). I don't like being a burden. I'd hate to hand off my kids to someone else, and be like, "Here you go...my crazy kids. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do.

Of course at noon, Daniel wanted lunch, so I shuffled to the kitchen to get the boys food. I wasn't hungry, but I ate a sandwich because I've learned that hospitals are not going to feed you until they know what's up.

After deliberation, I decided I was going to Springfield. I've had positive and negative experiences with our local ER, but I've already got a tab going at St. John's anyway. Ha!

I got there and parked in the ramp. There were no close places of course, so I had a painful little walk to the ER. I waited in the waiting room for about 45 minutes and then was taken to my room. A few minutes later the nurse came in, followed quickly by the Nurse Practitioner. I'm thinking, "Awesome. This isn't going to take long at all." She asked questions. Pressed on my abdomen...OUCH! And then says, "This seems like classic gallbladder." Yep. Exactly what myself and everyone else thought too. She ordered blood work, I got to pee in a cup...I mean, that's always a fun adventure for a woman, am I right? And CT scan. She also wanted to give me fluid in an IV in case I was dehydrated, and they also put some Torodol in (like 2 hours later). She also asked the infamous, "Any chance you're pregnant?" question. I'm like, "No!" "Well...I mean, I'm almost certain I'm not, but I suppose there could always be a chance." (In my head, I'm going, "Oh crap! I hope not. I just sold ALL of my baby stuff!)  Hey...and good news...I'm not! LOL!

After an eternity, they wheeled me down for my CT. Since I was still hooked to the IV, I got to ride in the bed, which was fine with me. The whole procedure was really fast. They did a couple of regular pictures and then added contrast dye. The tech told me I would feel warm and like I was peeing myself when it went it. It seemed odd, but okay. Well, I'm glad she told me, because I totally would have thought I peed myself if she hadn't!

More waiting. More waiting. More waiting. New nurse comes in to see if I need anything. Water. I am dying of thirst. Sorry. No water until the results are back. Sigh. More waiting. More waiting. Nurse comes back. Can I have water yet? Nope. Results still haven't come in. Waiting....

Finally, I get the news. It's NOT my gallbladder. In fact my gallbladder looks great. WHAT?! I'm about to cry again because, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I KNOW I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

Then she goes on to tell me, I'm being placed on antibiotics for diverticulosis. What the heck is that? So, I learn all of the details, or at least some. And then I'm on my way. Got my meds, including painkiller...and finally almost 6 hours after I left I was home.

Today is the first day, I haven't felt like I was dying a slow and painful death. I don't feel great, but I am in less pain than I was. I even smiled more today.

While, I know I must have diverticulosis, because they could see it on my CT scan, I'm still not 100% convinced that's all it is, but at least this is a start. Maybe that's all, but at least I wasn't sent away with, "Let it run its course."

From all that I've read this is something that generally presents in people over 40. Here I sit, thinking, I've been suffering from attacks since I was at least 16 years old. 16! Maybe even before that, but I have a very vivid memory of going out for my birthday with my 2 best friends. We went bowling and to DQ. I know this wasn't my first one (so I guess I was at least 15), because I remember feeling it coming on as we were bowling. I suffered in silence for the next 3 hours because I didn't want to ruin the fun. I can't tell you the number of times I've been in similar situations, where maybe only one person if any knows that I'm in pain. I can hide it well around others, even though I want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. But, obviously, this year they have intensified. Hopefully I can get it under control, although now I know it's yet another thing I get to battle for the rest of my life.

But hey...I'm alive, right? So, there's something to be thankful for!

Four Things

Four names people call me other than my real name:

1. Mommy
2. Rach
3. RaeLynn (only my mom can call me that)
4. Bud (my dad is the one who calls me that)

Four places I've lived:

1. Cedar Rapids, Iowa --Eastview Ave
2. Cedar Rapids, Iowa-- 16th Ave
3. Cedar Rapids, Iowa-- 32nd St
4. Taylorville, IL

Four jobs I've had:

1. Cashier at HyVee
2. Cashier at True Value
3. Infant room caregiver/assistant director (in Iowa)
4. Stay at Home Mom

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Anything chocolate
2. fajitas
3. ice cream
4. pizza

Four things I prefer not to eat:

1. Broccoli (or really most any veggie)
2. Seafood (if it came out of the water, I don't want it in my belly)
3. Bananas (gag!)
4. Mushrooms (no fungus for me, thanks)

Four movies I've watched more than once:

1. Remember the Titans
2. Sweet Home Alabama
3. Bridesmaids
4. Steel Magnolias

Four books I'd recommend:

1. Literally any Karen Kingsbury book
2. The Help
3. Sophie's Heart
4. The Hunger Games trilogy.

Four places I've visited:

1. Cocoa Beach, FL
2. Los Angeles, CA
3. North Carolina
4. St. Louis, MO

Four TV shows I watch:
(Not a lot current so I'll go Netflix too)

1. Stranger Things (okay...I finished it, but it's SO good!)
2. Gilmore Girls (because there's can never be enough Stars Hollow in your life)
3. Any of the House Hunter shows (or lots of other HGTV shows for that matter)
4. Hoarders (because...well, I'm obsessed)

Four things I'm looking forward to this year:

1. FALL!!! (who didn't see that coming?)
2. Going to pumpkin patches with the boys.
3. Celebrating the boys' birthdays
4. Christmas!

Favorite Pictures From Each Month (so far)

January



This picture makes me smile. Daniel was still sleeping in his toddler bed at the time and James had learned how to climb into it. I was doing bedtime alone that night because Jacob was at a Scholastic Bowl meet, so I had both boys. Instead of getting tucked in right away after stories, James climbed into the bed too. They started to giggle and play, so even though it was past bedtime, I let them be silly and grabbed the camera! Such goofballs!

February



While Daniel was at preschool, Mimi and Pa T. came and helped me transform Daniel's Winnie the Pooh room into he and James' Paw Patrol room! He was so happy to have a big boy bed!

March



You can just see the orneriness in James' face. He was so proud that he got the ball, and was so excited to play outside on an unseasonably warm evening. His little outfit with the socks and shoes cracks me up too!

April



Just another picture that melts my heart. What you can't see is the effort it takes to get any pictures of them together. I do have a great one of them both looking and smiling, but I love this one more because you can see the adoration in James' eyes. I loves his Bubby.

May



This was a rare evening that James and I got some one on one time outside together. I took him down the alley like I used to do with Daniel, and let him explore this mud puddle. At first he just touched the water. Then he walked through it. Next thing I knew he was jumping and splashing. I love that you can see that he sat in the puddle at one point too. A little dirt never hurt. I just stripped him on the front porch and took him in for a bath. More splashing!

June



Launching rockets with Pa! It's really just a simple picture, and nothing fancy. I just love that it captures not only the rocket going up, but my dad and Daniel watching it blast off together. It doesn't matter how old you are or how young you are...rocket launches are always fun!

July



The Thatcher clan together again! This was a fun year because I got to see Erica twice! This day was so much fun. When mom started planning a trip to a dairy farm I wasn't overly thrilled, because who goes on a trip to a dairy farm? Except it turned out to be this awesome day. We fed baby calves, milk a cow, pet and fed kangaroos (because that seems normal for a dairy farm!), and ate ice cream.

August



One of those rare moments when Daniel decides to pause long enough for a picture and it turns out perfect! I love this one of us.

4 more months left to fill up with memories. This was not an easy task because some months I have many favorite pictures, so I just had to pick one and roll with it!

I'm Baaaaack!

I've been missing my blog. I sit down to write and nothing comes to me. Or I just don't feel like writing. So, in order to try to get myself back into it, I looked up some blog challenges, so I have ideas for each day.

I figured I'd kick it off with more All About Me facts, just because I always think they're fun to do. Especially when I think of really random quirky things,

1. Laundry rules don't apply to me. I don't sort. I just dump a bunch of crap in and hope for the best.  I've only had a couple of mishaps over the years. Worth it to not sort.

2. Dumping everything in, does have a downside if you don't notice a diaper has made its way into the basket. Those suckers can hold A LOT of water though, which leaves me to question why my kids still managed to pee through at night sometimes?

3. I am really bad at finishing projects that I start.

4. I just finished watching Stranger Things on Netflix last night and I'm going through withdrawals.

5. People always warn me about all of the fart and poop jokes that come with having boys...but I'm just as bad. I always giggle and joke right along. I grew up with 2 sisters and we always laughed about that stuff.

6. I have officially decided that I actually hate summer more than winter. Never thought that day would come.

7. I always prefer to be the passenger to being the driver when I'm with other people. And riding through big city traffic will always make my anxiety skyrocket. I pretend brake with my foot.

8. I've come to the conclusion that I have really tasty blood. I can be outside for 10 minutes and end up covered from head to toe in bites. Jacob can be outside with me and won't get one. I currently have about 20 mosquito bites from playing outside with the boys the other day.

9. I love bonfires in the fall, but immediately regret them because then I smell like smoke.

10. Speaking of bonfires. One year in October my mom, Kendra and I decided to have a fire outside and make s'mores. Dad was annoyed with us wanting him to get the fire pit out and start a fire, but did it anyway. Turned out even with the fire, it was still really cold, but we decided we couldn't go in until we were sure dad was asleep so he wouldn't know that we were not enjoying ourselves. Ha!

11. I detest cutting my fingernails and toenails. I really detest cutting the boys' nails.

12. One of my guilty pleasures is tossing out random crappy McDonalds or other junky "prize" toys that I know will never be missed.

13. My dream house would be a custom built brand new house made to look like an old house. Lots of woodwork and built-in. Claw foot tub.

14. I love hugs (from people I know). So, if you know me (and I know you) then hug me! If you're some random person, I'll be pretty weirded out if you give me a hug.

15. I am one of the most awkward people ever, but the older I get the easier it is to just embrace it and try not to get embarrassed by all of the stupid stuff I do.



Stay tune to see if I stick with the whole blog thang. :)